Blatant Stupidity
by Defiant Vixen
Summary: The Blitzkrieg boys meet a young girl name Kiara; who claims to be Kai’s twin sister! She has a past in the Abbey, an Ice Phoenix bitbeast and hates Kai’s guts. Tala, however, finds her story has a few holes in it... ::Female!Kai, Tala/Kai OC bashing::
1. Chapter 1

**Blatant Stupidity**

**Summary:** The Blitzkrieg boys meet a young girl name Kiara; who claims to be Kai's younger sister! She has a past in the Abbey, an Ice Phoenix bitbeast, a Russian title and hates Kai's guts. Tala, however, finds her story has a few holes in it…

**Pairings:** Mentioned of Tala/Kai

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the Anime Beyblade or any character associated. I do own Kiara "Phoenix" Hiwatari. She is an original character and all likeness to people living or dead is purely coincidental. This character is not based on anyone else's character design, again if any likeness, it's purely coincidental.

**Warnings:** Kai is a girl in this story. The use and introduction of a female Original Character. Any fans of OCs and OC pairings should leave now. Anti-OC pairings and blatant bashing of my own character. I created her; I can do what I want with her. And I plan to. A bit of swearing from both Kiara and Kai, but that's what makes them 'sassy', right?

**AN:** Hello everyone. Just a quick two-shot to relieve myself of some pent up frustrations towards life in general. And, also, my annoyance at that writers block I have with Alarming Attachment. I'm hoping that by writing nonsense like this, it'll will somehow remove it. Wish me luck.

I'll probably be flamed badly for this, but I don't mind. If anyone is offended, I'm truly sorry, but that won't stop me from taking OC riddled clichés and making fun of them. This is for everyone who is sick and tired of the same Kai sister nonsense. Please enjoy, and I hope you at least crack a grin at this attempt of a parody.

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Chapter One:

With narrow eyes of icy blue, Tala folded his arms over his chest as he watched a battle rage between his two teammates, Spencer and Bryan. In the far corner of the large indoor battle arena that the Abbey possessed was Ian, their youngest member, practicing by himself. His blading skills had improved, and yet he still had a long way to go until he was ready to compete at a world stage level.

Another world championships were approaching, and they needed another member to participate. Tala wasn't sure what he should do if Ian wasn't ready physically or mentally for the stand the championships placed on a blader's shoulders.

He might need another member just in case…

But who? Was there anyone out there who could blade at the Blitzkrieg boys level of standards?

Suddenly, the sound of a ripcord tearing through a Beyblade launcher reaches his sensitive ears and he spun around just in time to see a blur of silver and blue appear from up high off the ceilings structural beams, heading straight for the unsuspecting Ian. His eyes widen with a sense of awe when the blade crashed into Ian dark green one, effortlessly sending it flying from the beydish.

Not only did that rouge blade just knock Ian's blade out of the dish, but the impact was so powerful that it sent it crashing into a wall a few feet away, leaving a huge crater.

There was only one person Tala new that could place so much power into their blade like that…but…

"Well, that was easy," an unfamiliar voice sniggered as a silhouette appeared from where the blade had originated. The figure then jumped off the beam, about eight feet off the ground and landed on their two feet with a loud thump that echoed around the room that was stunned into silence.

Tala's eyes widen further when he realized that the figure was that of a girl, a young woman, actually. She had a well developed figure; slender and yet has curves in all the right places. Her hips were nice and round, waist petite and small. And her bust, she was most certainly well devolved!

Her hair was a two toned blue; faint light blue at the front that held a tinge of purple to it, and at the back was a shimmering sapphire blue. It was long, easily touching the seductive curl of her butt.

She wore a pair of black faded jeans that sat snuggly on her hips; a belt made out of a bike chain and well worn steel cap army boots finished the look. On a silver and black tank top baring her torso was the words 'Girls Kick Ass' in bright red letters. Accompanied by a pure crimson red scarf encircled her neck, the ends draping over her shoulders and touching the floor behind her. The scarf helped enhance her enchanting eyes of crimson red. On her cheeks, she had light purple tribal markings, consisting of a single triangle from her jaw line, pointing at her eyes.

She appeared to be a tough chick as she casually flicked a strand of her long hair over her shoulder with a leather gloved hand that reached her elbows and smirked in Tala's direction. She appeared to take no nonsense and demands respect, even when she's giving you lip and giving you the finger.

A sly smirk appeared on Tala's lips as he studied her critically. This could be interesting…

"Ian, go to the medical office," Tala ordered without even looking at his younger teammate. "I'll speak to you about your _performance_ later."

"But-!" Ian was about to protest, but when Tala snapped his head in his direction, he back off, cowering under his gaze.

"Now, Ian."

Ian gave his redheaded captain a look of despair before turning to give their new guest a look of irritation when she gave him a very smug look before he scuttled away, out of sight.

"Heh, one of the best in the Abbey, huh?" the young woman commented, placing a hand on her hip as she leant to the side, her other hand hanging limp. "I find that really hard to believe."

"I suppose so," Tala said as he took a step forward, stopping a few feet away from their guest, singling to his teammates to stay silent and still behind him. He cast his eyes critically up and down the young woman's form before looking into her eyes. "And you are?"

"My name is Kiara Hiwatari," the girl said as she once again flicked a strand of her luscious long hair over her shoulder.

"Hiwatari?" Tala repeated with a look of surprise on his face. "You can't be…?"

"I'm Kai's younger sister, obviously," Kiara said, her voice bitter with resentment. It was like poison to her tongue to say those words and she felt anger bubble inside her at the thought of her older sibling. The one that left her behind…

"Sister?"

"Yea, as in he's my older brother," she said and rolled her eyes toward the ceiling above; annoyed that she was obviously talking to an idiot. What did he think she meant when she said younger sister? Jeez, men are all brainless buffoons. It's a wonder they managed to survive on their own.

Tala, however, tilted his head to the side, appearing to stare at her incredulously upon hearing her claim. "Really?"

Kiara folded her arms over her chest and glared at him, her crimson red eyes narrowed dangerously much liked Kai's would have been if he was standing there. The crimson eyes, the dual colored hair, the war paint on her cheeks; it should have been obvious that they were related.

She really was dealing with an idiot. It was hard to believe that he was a captain of a Beyblade team. She could do a much better job!

However her glare didn't have the same bite Kai's notoriously feared glare had and Tala felt like laughing at her failed attempt to intimidate him. Truth be told, comparing her glare to Kai was an insult to humanity. It didn't even come close.

Ignoring the groan of irritation from one of his teammates behind him, Tala slipped a sly smirk upon his lips and took a step closer to the female, folding his own arms over his chest. "Were the two of you twins?" he asked, eager to learn more.

"Of course we are, you idiot," Kiara sneered at him with a harsh tone to her voice, her nose screwing up into a scowl as her eyes narrowed even more. "What the fuck do you think?"

Tala ignored her disrespectful tone and pressed on. He needed to learn more from this _intriguing_ young woman. "Were the two of you close?"

Kiara gave him this frightful look, a look that was annoyed that he was asking her personal questions. It was as if he didn't believe her! Jeez, she was the female version of her older brother, what more proof did he need?

Oh, wait, that's right, she was dealing with an idiot, remember? She has to speak slowly for him to understand. After all, everyone knows that the Blitzkrieg boys are nothing but a bunch of heartless solders that get a kick out of hurting people.

"I don't remember much about him," Kiara said as she sniffed and folded her arms over her chest again. "My last memory of him was when we were 10 years old and were separated when our grandfather appeared and took us to the Abbey."

Tala's eyes seemed to light up at the last few words. "You were in the abbey?"

Kiara gave him this irritated look as she shook her head just a little in disbelief and huffed shortly. "Isn't that what I just said?" she snapped tersely.

"Tala, just leave it," Spencer said from the background, a sense of irritation in his own voice, as Bryan, who was standing next to him, was more visible in his annoyed state of being.

"No, I want to hear more," Tala replied, taking a moment to glance over his shoulder to his taller teammates and gave them a look of authority before he turned back to Kiara, who was becoming increasingly annoyed with his interrogation.

What was this? Twenty questions or some shit like that?

"What squadron were you in?" he asked.

The irritation disappeared for a moment as Kiara felt confused at the question. Squadron? What the hell was he talking about?

"I wasn't in a squadron," she said as she came to the conclusion that the redhead was trying to trip her up by picking a random name and number. Jeez, he still didn't trust her! What is his problem? If she said she was in the Abbey, shouldn't that be enough? After all, she was Kai's sister!

"I was kept in the hidden labs underground," she answered before her voice suddenly became soft, yet strained when memories returned to her and she gritted her teeth together to stop the tears that threatened to fall. She would not cry; she hadn't cried in years. "They…did experiments on me…" she whispered.

"A lab, you say?" Tala said as he raised an eyebrow in skepticism. "Interesting."

"Are you mocking me?" Kiara snapped her head up abruptly and snarled at him, taking a menacing step forward, the redhead intent on provoking her into lashing out. And if he wasn't careful, she'd hand him his ass. She had a black belt in martial arts, after all.

She once again gritted her teeth together. Those labs, those scientist, they were horrible. They made her train day after day, week after week, with no break! They fed her poison in her food to see whether or not she could survive. It was just sheer will power that she did. That, and the bond she had with her bitbeast, and that secret power hidden deep inside her, that same power that brought her to the abbey in the first place!

"You have no idea what they did to me down there!" she screamed at him as she recalled her blade and clutched it to her chest. "It was horrible! My only companion during those dark nights was my bitbeast, Ice Drayzer, Dranzer's sister."

"Oh dear God…" Spencer groaned as he slapped his forehead with his large hand, his shoulders sagging in exasperation.

Bryan eye twitched violently as he stared at her, equally as annoyed as his companion beside him. "Is she serious?"

"Oh, this is rich," Tala smiled mockingly as he gave a quick shake of his head. It was he was expecting those words to pass her lips even before she thought of them herself.

How dare he act so haughty and mighty? She had the right mind to slap that smug look right off his face, a hit he would no doubt feel for days to come!

"You know what; I don't care what any of you think," Kiara suddenly announced as she folded her arms over her chest and stuck her nose in to the air, turning away from them. "I'm a far better blader that all of you put together. I do have a blading title, after all."

The sly grin widened on Tala's lips and he pressed her into revealing more information about herself. "Really?"

"Heh, make that the Russian blading title," Kiara said smugly as she turned to face them again, a smirk adorning her naturally rose pink lips. "Impressive, isn't it? Well, it was fairly easy to acquire."

"It must have been," Tala said as he nodded his head with a mocking sense of awe. "As I've never heard of you before."

"Then you must be living under a rock somewhere," Kiara snapped, a small snarl leaving her lips as she practically spat at him in disgust.

Tala tilted his head to the side and smile. "Right, of course."

"Tala," Bryan whined as he threw his arms into the arm, so over dealing with this situation any further. Let's just throw her out already, she's getting on my nerves."

"Just one more minute," Tala said as he sent Bryan a sadistic grin, revealing to his teammates that he was having some fun at the young woman's expense. "So Kiara, tell me, why are you here?"

"That's none of your concern," she replied as she stuck her nose into the air again. "I can do whatever I want."

Her attitude is what some people would call sassy, Tala mused to himself. "I guess that's true."

"Where's Kai?" she said, not as a question or a request, but as a demand. She never asked for anything, being polite got you nowhere in life.

"Kai?"

"Yes, where is that bastard?" Kiara said angrily, her eyes narrowing considerably as her face turned hot with rage. "I can't believe he left me behind all those years ago! He's my brother, he should have rescued me!" she yelled as she walked over to a steel garbage can and kicked it hard, spilling the contents inside across the room.

Heh, that ought to show them she meant business. Kai better watch out!

"I waited so long, waiting in that dark and dank lab," she suddenly whispered, her enraged outburst fading away as her eyes grew distant. "But he never came. And now…I want to make him pay!"

Tala has had enough of listening to her story, it's time for him to say a few words, and he was pretty sure sweet and sassy Kiara here won't like them a bit. "For you information, little girl, Kai doesn't have a sister."

Kiara snapped her head up and spun around to glare with a heated gaze directly at him. "Is that what he's been telling everyone?" she asked, incredulous at the notion.

"Yes."

"I always knew he was a bastard," Kiara hissed as she spun around and planted her foot on the trash can, giving it a dint where her foot landed.

"And you know why?" Tala asked slowly, as if he were speaking to a child.

"Hn, because he's a fucking traitor," Kiara muttered as she gave the trash can another kick and spun around to fold her arms over her chest. "He abandoned his own sister!"

"No," Tala continued, still speaking slowly. "Because _**she**_ really doesn't have a sister."

"What?"

A sadistic grin appeared on Tala's lips as he stared at her. Oh, it was going to be so much fun picking apart Kiara's story and debunking everything she said.


	2. Chapter 2

**Blatant Stupidity**

**Summary:** The Blitzkrieg boys meet a young girl name Kiara; who claims to be Kai's younger sister! She has a past in the Abbey, an Ice Phoenix bitbeast, a Russian title and hates Kai's guts. Tala, however, finds her story has a few holes in it…

**Pairings:** Mentioned of Tala/Kai

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the Anime Beyblade or any character associated. I do own Kiara "Phoenix" Hiwatari. She is an original character and all likeness to people living or dead is purely coincidental. This character is not based on anyone else's character design, again if any likeness, it's purely coincidental.

**Warnings:** Kai is a girl in this story. The use and introduction of a female Original Character. Any fans of OCs and OC pairings should leave now. Anti-OC pairings and blatant bashing of my own character. I created her; I can do what I want with her. And I plan to. A bit of swearing from both Kiara and Kai, but that's what makes them 'sassy', right?

**AN:** Hello again, here I am with the second half of this story. Thank you so much for the words of encouragement for the first chapter. It's nice to know that I'm not the only one sick of all these Kai's sister stories. If there are any OC infested clichés that annoy you, please let me know as the chances are that they annoy me as well, I might be able to incorporate them in a story to make fun of sometime in the future. Until then, I hope you get a giggle out of this chapter at the very least.

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Chapter Two:

"She really doesn't have a sister."

Kiara's head reeled back in surprise. "What?" she muttered, her eyes wide with disbelief. After everything she said, hearing her past, seeing her appearance, he still didn't believe a word she said? Unbelievable!

"She's really starting to piss me off!" Bryan announced his voice heavy with ill intent. "Can we throw her out now?"

"It's obvious she has a few screws loose," Spencer mused to himself as he folded an arm over his broad chest, the fingers of his other hand tapping his chin in thought. "Maybe we should call for an ambulance to take her to seek medical help?"

"She'll need it when Kai gets through with her," Bryan muttered as he folded his arms across his chest, appearing disgruntled with everything life had to offer.

"Before we do that, let's make a few things clear for her. I'll start," Tala said as he turned to give Kiara a hard look, a look that held a sense of amusement to it. "One; Kai can't be your older brother simply because he is a she." That sadistic smirk on his lips widened when he saw Kiara's head reel back in shock once again. "Yes, that's right, Kai's a girl. How do I know this? Well, let's just say your 'sister' is more than a teammate to me."

"They're dating, in other words," Bryan muttered. "And if you were truly Kai's sister, you would have known that Kai was a girl, wouldn't you?"

Kai had been dressing up as a boy ever since she was seven years old, something her overprotective parents made her do; mainly because she was a pro at Beyblade and her mother felt that she wouldn't be taken as seriously as a girl. They were right, in a way, and Kai didn't mind too much at all; she was a tomboy through and through.

The only reason why she continued to dress as a guy was because it was a force of habit and everyone knew her as a guy. Besides, it came in handy at times. She could literally disappear from radar for a few months and no one had a clue where she was as they weren't looking for a girl.

Kiara was in a state of complete and utter shock. Wait, Kai was a girl and she was dating Tala Ivanov?! That's…not possible! He was lying, he had to be. She gritted her teeth and curled her hands into fists that shook by her sides.

She always knew that the Blitzkrieg boys were a bunch of bastards, she just didn't realize how much. She thought that since she was Kai's younger sister –she even looked like him, dammit- they should have welcomed her and accepted her words as fact.

"This is a waste of time, but I'll bite," Bryan muttered bitterly again before he took the necessary steps to reach Tala's side. "Two; Voltaire didn't just appear and dragged her to the abbey, her parents were killed in a car accident and she was placed in his custody in Russia. When she was **eight** years old."

"B-but," Kiara stuttered. "That's what I said."

Bryan raised an eyebrow; his annoyance was coming off of him in sharp waves. "No, you said you were ten when your grandfather separated you, remember?"

"Three; Balkov Abbey was for boys only," Spencer continued as he pointed to a large plaque that said pretty much the same thing he just said; word for word. "The only reason why Kai was even here was because she was related to Voltaire. And even then, she didn't stay for very long."

"Four;" Tala's smirk widen when he saw that Kiara's facade was slowly becoming unstuck. "There are only two Phoenix bitbeasts: Dranzer and Black Dranzer. There's no such thing as an Ice Phoenix. Not physically possible."

"You don't know that," Kiara muttered as she clutched her blade to her chest, a stinging sensation prickling at the back of her eyes. Bitbeasts were mythical creatures; they could easily be angels or passed love ones!

Even though there was no record of such bitbeasts, but that didn't mean they weren't out there!

"Then show me your Beyblade," Tala suggested, his head titled to the side ever so slightly.

"I don't have to prove anything to you," she simply hissed as him and held her blade closer. Ok, so her bitbeast wasn't exactly a Phoenix, but it was close enough! Its name was Drayzer! It had to be related to Dranzer somehow!

"Five; the laboratories underground weren't called Labs, they were referred to Catacombs as a safety measure to keep suspicion from the outside world to the minimum," Spencer explained bluntly, as if it should have been obvious.

Well, how was she supposed to know that?!

"And last but not least, number six; you can't be the Russian blading champion," Tala said as he folded his arms smugly over his chest. "If I recall correctly, we are. We, as my teammates and I, and not you."

There was a murmur of agreement behind him from his two teammates, seemingly both of them annoyed about her claim to fame. Idiot, if she changed the origin of the country, she might have had something over them. But in the end, it wouldn't have held water anyway, so she would have just been delaying the inventible.

"There were a few holes in your story here, Kiara," Tala commented, still looking smug with himself. He was having fun…at her expense!

"Now can we throw her out?" Bryan asked, becoming increasingly impatient and irritable.

Bastards…they were all a bunch of lying, scheming, sexist bastards!

"You're all lying," she hissed. "There is no way Kai can be a girl! You're making fun of me, aren't you? Grrr, fucking assholes."

"Um, no," Tala said slowly, "We're not the ones that are lying here."

"Whatever," Kiara suddenly said, standing up tall, her profile tense and her eyes blazing with anger. "I demand to see my older brother **now**!" She suddenly threw her head back and screamed as loud as she could. "Kai! You jerk, get out here and face me, or are you scared of getting your ass kicked by a girl?!"

She then slumped forward, panting heavily as the three Russian bladers stared at her in complete shock and bewilderment, stuck in a trance like state. However, the spell was broken when two large doors swung open and revealed the figure of another; a certain half Russian.

"What the **_fuck_**?" Kai said with sheer annoyance and stepped into the room. Another set of crimson eyes narrowed, but these one far more dangerous and lethal. "What's going on here?"

"Oh Kai," Tala greeted with a smirk and motioned to their rather flamboyant guest. "Meet your younger twin sister, Kiara."

Kai's eyes narrowed into a far more dangerous glare. "I don't have a sister."

"Don't lie," Kiara snapped, a sense of anger bubbling in her chest again. "You abandoned me in the Abbey, if you don't remember."

A wry grin appeared on her lips when Kai snapped his attention directly at her, his eyes widening a fraction; from fear or recognition, she didn't know. And it didn't matter; he was going to pay for leaving her behind!

"Oh, not this again," Kai suddenly sighed and turned to face Tala, giving him a woefully disgruntled look. "Why is she even here?"

"Just having a bit of fun," Tala grinned.

Kiara reeled back in surprise at Kai's reaction; he appeared irritated, as if he found her presence here a complete nuisance and a waste of space. How dare he!?

"And you," she hissed as she pointed at Tala with a gloved hand. "I'll take you on as soon as I'm done with teaching my brother a few lessons. How dare you treat me like I'm an idiot by telling me Kai is a girl, when he is obviously a guy?"

Slowly, Kai turned to the redhead and raised a delicate eyebrow at him. "You told her I was a girl?"

Tala shrugged, still far too amused about the whole situation. "I had to make a point," he said.

Kiara raised an eyebrow at what he meant by that, still feeling enraged at the way he treated her. Her eye then widened as he walked over to Kai and placed his hands on his hips and... kissed him right on the lips!

"What?"

Kai rolled her eyes at the redhead before she placed her hands on his shoulders and gave him a kiss in return. When the kiss was broken, she then removed herself from Tala's arms and turned to face the shorter female who was glaring at her from the other side of the room.

Well, sometimes the direct approach was the only way to deal with these brainless fangirls.

"Stupid fool," she muttered as she grabbed the hem of her shirt and lifted it up over her head in one quick swoop. She then stood there in the middle of the enclosed battle arena, wearing nothing but her usual dark cargo pants and the thick white bandages that cover her obviously feminine chest. They started just under her armpits and finished just before her ribcage did. She was thin, but not sickly so, and she didn't really possess that many curves, but with the clothes she was wearing, it was hard to tell.

Kiara, she was completely blown away. It was true! The most wanted blader in Beyblade's history was a girl! Not only that, but she was dating Tala, the second most wanted.

This...wasn't happening...

She...wanted Tala for herself! She was hoping that after he saw how sassy and fiery, how talented and sarcastic, how hot and sexy she was, he'd fall for her. That was the plan. If she became Kai's sister, she would become close to him and Tala, forcing a strain on their friendship as they fought over her; Kai being the protective older brother, and Tala trying to seduce her.

But this was all wrong!

"As you can see, he wasn't lying," Kai said as she placed a hand on her dainty hip. "And I'm pretty sure everything else he said about your tragic past was correct as well."

Slipping the shirt back on, she strode over to the stunned female, each step she took more intimidating than the last. She then lashed her hand out, snared her 'sister' by the red scarf around her neck and then dragged her harshly to the front entrance, kicking the doors open with her foot and then effortlessly throwing Kiara to the hard, cold ground just outside the Abbey doors.

Kiara hit the pavement hard, the biting Russian winter immediately cutting through her exposed skin of her stomach and arms.

"Now, I suggest you leave this place at once," Kai ordered harshly, her eyes narrowed in a most fearsome way; the true Hiwatari glare that no one can duplicate. "The Blitzkrieg Boys won't physically attack as girl, but I will have no hesitation. And believe me; you won't stand a chance against me..."

Kiara sprung to her feet, her face red from humiliation. "I can kick your ass," she threatened.

Kai slowly raised an eyebrow and took a dangerous step forward. "Try me," she said in a low hiss, a hiss that sent chills down Kiara's spine. She suddenly lashed out and grabbed her around the neck, pulling her forward. "Well?"

"You're...not worth the effort," she said, trying to sound confident and strong as she struggled against Kai's grip, but failing when her voice become squeaky, her throat tight from the fear and the tears that threaten to fall from her eyes. That and the tight grip Kai has around her throat.

"Took the words right out of my mouth," Kai replied as she dropped her like a tonne of bricks and pulled back to walked back inside. But before she did, she turned around and gave her another glare for the road. "Go home and give up on the idea of ever becoming a part of the Blitzkrieg boys' team. Not you or any of your girly friends will ever be good enough for this team."

With those parting words, Kai slammed the large doors shut behind, leaving the 'sassy' Kiara out in the winter cold; where the little tramp belonged.

"Beautifully done as always, Kai," Tala grinned as he wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her against his side. He loved watching Kai go all badass on the fangirls. They were deeply irritating, the way they would break in and launch their blades at them, expecting them to be in awe at how totally cool and sassy they are.

"Why do you always give them a chance to explain themselves?" Kai scowled as she peered at him from the corner of her eye. She loved the canine redhead deeply, being together now for about two years, but it irritated her to no end how her boyfriend would patronize people the way he did.

"I just wanted to see how many twin sisters with Ice Phoenix bitbeasts that you've abandoned in the Abbey you have," he replied with a careless shrug.

Kai rolled her eyes and sighed. "How many do I have?"

Tala tapped his chin with his free hand, making sure the other stayed secure around Kai's slender waist. "Well, according to my calculations of the last month; 10."

"Ten?" Kai repeated, her brow furrowed in a sense of confusion. "Really? I don't remember throwing that many out."

Once again, Tala shrugged. "Bryan usually got to them first."

Kai sighed again and shook her head. "When will they learn?"


End file.
